Frenzy by Anne Sexton & Psalm 91

Frenzy

By Anne Sexton

I am not lazy.

I am on the amphetamine of the soul.

I am, each day,

typing out the God

my typewriter believes in.

Very quick. Very intense,

like a wolf at a live heart.

Not lazy.

When a lazy man, they say,

looks toward heaven,

the angels close the windows.

Oh angels,

keep the windows open

so that I may reach in

and steal each object,

objects that tell me the sea is not dying,

objects that tell me the dirt has a life-wish,

that the Christ who walked for me,

walked on true ground

and that this frenzy,

like bees stinging the heart all morning,

will keep the angels

with their windows open,

wide as an English bathtub.

******************************

Dear God,

I have been a razor poised

on my own delicate wrists

and I have pushed until

my brilliant red blood trickled

like crimson tears

down my arm onto the filthy

floor.

I have been the bleeding arm

and the tear-stained,

copper-tasting blood.

I have been without hope and

emptier than an atheist’s soul.

I have laid me down to sleep

and prayed for death and not

to wake.

And yet you came.

You came when I cried out,

alone, hopeless & dying

and you gave me hope

and washed me with your

gentle love,

bandaging my broken,

barely beating heart with

your most tender words & then

hiding me under your wings

like a mother bird

until the world felt safe

once again.

How can I not be heartbroken

& so fucking sad when others

who've never known

your salvation---the hardcore,

life-saving kind---

disregard you and spit

in your face?  But then,

I guess you're used to that.

I will always love you

and worship you

as if my life depends on it---

because it does.

Marion 12/4/11

_____________________

Psalm 91

 ¹ Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
      will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
 ² This I declare about the Lord:
   He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
      he is my God, and I trust him.
 ³ For he will rescue you from every trap
      and protect you from deadly disease.
 ⁴ He will cover you with his feathers.
      He will shelter you with his wings.
      His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
 ⁵ Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,
      nor the arrow that flies in the day.
 ⁶ Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,
      nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
 ⁷ Though a thousand fall at your side,
      though ten thousand are dying around you,
      these evils will not touch you.
 ⁸ Just open your eyes,
      and see how the wicked are punished.
 ⁹ If you make the Lord your refuge,
      if you make the Most High your shelter,
 ¹⁰ no evil will conquer you;
      no plague will come near your home.
 ¹¹ For he will order his angels
      to protect you wherever you go.
 ¹² They will hold you up with their hands
      so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.
 ¹³ You will trample upon lions and cobras;
      you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!
 ¹⁴ The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.
      I will protect those who trust in my name.
 ¹⁵ When they call on me, I will answer;
      I will be with them in trouble.
      I will rescue and honor them.
 ¹⁶ I will reward them with a long life
      and give them my salvation.”