The Universe/God is tearing me open & emptying me out this year---heart, mind and soul---for some reason. I do not know why.
First I lost my husband due to domestic violence & Meth (divorce), then my alpha-cat, Catfish, had to be put down because of an ongoing severe kidney condition a month or so ago. Today, my precious, kind, gorgeous, green-eyed 20 year old Sophie had a horrible seizure and a stroke and couldn't walk. I had to have her put down at noon. I couldn't watch her suffer any more or keep her here for my selfish love. I am heartbroken and in shock. So much loss!!! My animals have become my family, my friends and my healers...
She was my comforter cat who slept cuddled under my arm and who would come and lick the tears from my face when I cried. I already miss her supremely. It won't really hit me until a few days from now when her loss become a presence like Catfish's did.
Having pets is about love and loss. I have so many Sophie stories, though. I'm going to write them down today so I won't forget. When she was younger, she liked to climb very tall trees and get stuck in them...chasing squirrels. Twice we had to call tree services to come get her out of a Pine and a Sweet Gum tree. The first time, the guy took off his shoes and literally shimmied up a Sweet Gum tree barefooted to the TOP, grabbed Sophie and shimmied down. I wish I'd have had a movie of it, but it was before cell phones. It was a thing of beauty, the way he climbed that tree. Then Sophie bit him. :-) She was a mean bitch when she wanted to be...the alpha female.
Earlier this morning, I read Tao, Chapter 11, about emptiness. I guess it was karmic. RIP, my precious friend, Sophie.
My beautiful girl, Sophie, who gave me JOY & LAUGHTER for 21 years.
Sophie, my comforter, is in cat heaven with her many cat-relatives.
Tao - 11
We join spokes together in a wheel,
but it is the center hole
that makes the wagon move.
We shape clay into a pot,
but it is the emptiness inside
that holds whatever we want.
We hammer wood for a house,
but it is the inner space
that makes it livable.
We work with being,
but non-being is what we use.
Gorgeous Queen Sophie, crossed the Rainbow Bridge today.