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Days of Roses Passed... My long gone Rose
AN EMPTY HOUSE IS A DEBT
Diana Nguyen
1There is a house in me. It is empty. I empty it.Negative space: the only native emptiness there is.There is
2An alarm goes off. It goes on and on. When the alarmdrifts to different parts of the room,I realize, that alarm is the sun.
3And there is no one who does not need,never an empty seat. And the blind one,he does not find a place. There is a god in himhelping him to need himself.
4A mother sticks a spoon into my chest,which is an empty bowl, actually,so the spoon lands quicklyand loudly. Heartbreak in the heart! she says.
5I reach inside my empty house: as far as I’m allowed to go.I reach outside my empty house: as far as I’m allowed to go.
6Or don’t love me, what do I care?I am tired of feeling guilty; I am tired of running up a tab.I want to run outside with a sack of huge penises on my back—into the empty houses of ex-lovers, of mothers, birdsscreaming out my name.A human terrifies.A human is someone who becomes terrified, and having become terrified,craves an end to her fear.This craving carves a cave.
7What is a maze if there is nothing to find in the maze.I find myself angry at nothing.
8My lovers bow before me as though before Medusa.Tell them you love them. See what they say.Or say it to yourself, and see what you say.When you love someonemore than you’ve ever known you could, it isa good thing, except for the terrifyingrealization that one day there comesa parting.
2An alarm goes off. It goes on and on. When the alarmdrifts to different parts of the room,I realize, that alarm is the sun.
3And there is no one who does not need,never an empty seat. And the blind one,he does not find a place. There is a god in himhelping him to need himself.
4A mother sticks a spoon into my chest,which is an empty bowl, actually,so the spoon lands quicklyand loudly. Heartbreak in the heart! she says.
5I reach inside my empty house: as far as I’m allowed to go.I reach outside my empty house: as far as I’m allowed to go.
6Or don’t love me, what do I care?I am tired of feeling guilty; I am tired of running up a tab.I want to run outside with a sack of huge penises on my back—into the empty houses of ex-lovers, of mothers, birdsscreaming out my name.A human terrifies.A human is someone who becomes terrified, and having become terrified,craves an end to her fear.This craving carves a cave.
7What is a maze if there is nothing to find in the maze.I find myself angry at nothing.
8My lovers bow before me as though before Medusa.Tell them you love them. See what they say.Or say it to yourself, and see what you say.When you love someonemore than you’ve ever known you could, it isa good thing, except for the terrifyingrealization that one day there comesa parting.
1 comment:
Despair, desperation, fear and madness flood through the darkness of the words.
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